What a Week.

I'm pretty sure this has been the worst week since Andrew died back in July. It's almost like...shocking, I really thought 2009 would leave with all the bad times, and we'd start off 2010 with a bang!
Yeah....WRONG!!
To start, I had a completely boring weekend, other than watching the Cowboys win and harrassing Tyler. My dad pretty much put in 24 extra hours of work trying to complete a project.
So Monday roles around...and we all know how hated Mondays are. Well, I especially hate this past one. Around 10 AM, Dad called, though I didn't know it was him at first. I heard my mom start to say "NO! What?! No..." and she started to cry. I swear my heart may have stopped beating for a few seconds there. I thought someone had died, and I can't take anymore death. Hannah and Andrew in one year were way too many...
So five minutes later, I walk out of the bathroom, after combing my hair, and there's my mom, sitting on the footrest in my bedroom.
Sobbing her heart out.

If there's one thing I hate more than myself crying, it's when my mom crys. She is one of the strongest people I have ever met. She's my role model, my hero. I trust her with my life. She's the person I strive to become, the one I look up to. Seeing her sobbing, well, it just devastates me.
Katie, my 14 yr. old sister, whispered...dad had lost his job. That's why Mom was so upset, so heartbroken. We've been through this so many times before, he must have been laid off four or five times now in my almost 16 years of life. But no one saw this one coming. Not a single one of us. He worked his butt off for this company, did everything humanly possible to do things right and get work done. They used him!! He put in 24 hours of work over the weekend, and they let him...knowing that they were going to lay him off on Monday morning. The only comfort I have is knowing that 49 other people were laid off Monday as well, and even more last week.

It just doesn't seem fair. For my dad, a hard-working, loyal man, to be laid off...because his salary was too large for the company's expenses. Yup, that's why they fired him.
Ridiculous.

I really just am struggling with putting all my trust in God. I can't stand to think that He would do something like this to my family, especially when we're still recovering with our finances. We're not poor, but we aren't bountiful either. It's just hard to think God is really out there, when such terrible things happen. It just seems like one after the other, deaths, my many injuries in one year, now this. It's so wrong.

Just need prayer. Am not having a good week. He's already got potential job offers, but those are so inconsistant that I don't want to get my hopes up too high.

Oh, the struggles we go through.
-headdesk-